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Heil Skiffenstein!

Monday, March 7, 2005

9:05PM

Any lonely ladies want to chat with a 6/C/WA????

Please comment, we'll set up a date.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

12:42AM

Hey guys, i'm back from vacation. For those of you who don't know, I went to the Kitchen for a while to see some of my friends. It was great, I arrived this morning at about 10 in the morning, and it was pretty cold, I saw my friends and was having tea when you'll never guess who showed up!!!...DANIEL! I was so happy he'd decided to come along. He switched the switch and it got warmer and we all played games. He got on his laptop and "pWNEd noobs" while me and my friend played drink out of the fishbowl. It was fun as hell. I took some pictures:

My VacationCollapse )

More updates later.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

11:55AM

Well. Last night I was asleep, when I felt something hard on my back, I looked up, and I saw that stupid Bird's beak leaning on me. I hate him...so much. I keep telling him there is Candy under the bed so...he can be disposed, but he won't go. I took out his batteries, and that little bastard said "Thank you"....like I was helping him! I HATE THAT STUPID FUCKING PARROT!!!

Daniel keeps taking this Bandana and putting it on my back so it looks like I have a cape...it's not that fucking funny you asshole!! I hate Daniel. I hate him so much that i just sometimes sit in his room away from everybody and scream and scream until my lungs don't have air in them.

...People don't understand me. They don't know how I work. They think i'm just a little kitty witty cat that isn't capable of feeling or though. But I guess Ignorance is Bliss. I have been lifting weights, i'm trying to get strong enough to rip off Daniel's head while he sleeps. I bet he'll like that...hahahahahaha...lolz.

Listen, I gotta poop. So i'll update later.

Sunday, November 7, 2004

10:37PM

Good Evening,

I can't think. My mind is an enigma. All I do day in and day out is Meditate. I consider all of my possible paths in life day in and day out and lay there with my eyes closed and it's like a rush.

I wish I had friends. There is a parrot that lives where I like to sleep, but he is made out of plastic and I hate him. I tried to kill him but he just sits there smiling like a little fucking asshole. Why the fuck is he always WATCHING ME!?

I'll be asleep, and slowly open my eyes and see that fucking bird in all of his colors watching me like a little shit and I want to cut his throat open but he doesn't have one...just a long beak. I've tried biting it...but he just won't budge....It pisses me off. What do I do? Please comment, help me plot against him...PLEASE!

Monday, November 1, 2004

9:25PM

I've been so tired lately, but I guess that is what you get when you only get 21 hours of sleep. Oh man oh man have I been stressed. My Great Grandma came in from Vancouver so she's been here with us. Mommy keeps locking me up and it's really making me mad. Where does she get off? I'll lock her up! LOLZ! I'd never do that to mommy.

I killed Daniel last night in my dreams. Well, I didn't kill him persee..I just beat him over the head with a Brick until there was nothing more but a Human bowl of blood. It was really quite the treat. But then I woke up and there was his stupid little face asking me what 2+2 was but answering for me "Kitty" in a very stupid accent. You can't pick your family....


I'm so sleepy. heheh...

I think i'll go to sleep...

Meh. Maybe i'll read.

I don't even knows!!!

LOLZ!

Thursday, October 28, 2004

8:52PM

Oh....my....god....

8:45PM

Well, it would seem as though everything i'd ever hoped for had come true. It all happened the other day as I lay on the window sill of my room. I looked down and saw a spider cross the room and jump on Daniel's bed as he slept. I have a certain job I have to do good and that is protecting my companion, so I jumped to action. Before the Spider bit Daniel I smooshed him right up nice, and killed him instantly. Happy for what I did, Daniel gave me huggin's, lovin's, cuddlin's, AND BRUSHINS!!!! It was so great, pure Euphoria.

And then....

He came over. His black clothes and long hair make me want to vomit up Crunchies. He had a smug smile on his face that made me want to cut it clear off. He is my enemy. I want him dead. I wanted to kill him. But as always, I refrained. So I went and watched some television. It was pretty good. That Jay Leno is definitely a funny guy. Hmm...

Well, Daniel just told me about an amazing site...something about a girl, in a tub, and I just can't wait. So I will be right back!!! LOLZ!!!!

8:44PM

Well, it would seem as though everything i'd ever hoped for had come true. It all happened the other day as I lay on the window sill of my room. I looked down and saw a spider cross the room and jump on Daniel's bed as he slept. I have a certain job I have to do good and that is protecting my companion, so I jumped to action. Before the Spider bit Daniel I smooshed him right up nice, and killed him instantly. Happy for what I did, Daniel gave me huggin's, lovin's, cuddlin's, AND BRUSHINS!!!! It was so great, pure Euphoria.

And then....

He came over. His black clothes and long hair make me want to vomit up Crunchies. He had a smug smile on his face that made me want to cut it clear off. He is my enemy. I want him dead. I wanted to kill him. But as always, I refrained. So I went and watched some television. It was pretty good. That Jay Leno is definitely a funny guy. Hmm...

Well, Daniel just told me about an amazing site...something about a girl, in a tub, and I just can't wait. So I will be right back!!! LOLZ!!!!

8:44PM

Well, it would seem as though everything i'd ever hoped for had come true. It all happened the other day as I lay on the window sill of my room. I looked down and saw a spider cross the room and jump on Daniel's bed as he slept. I have a certain job I have to do good and that is protecting my companion, so I jumped to action. Before the Spider bit Daniel I smooshed him right up nice, and killed him instantly. Happy for what I did, Daniel gave me huggin's, lovin's, cuddlin's, AND BRUSHINS!!!! It was so great, pure Euphoria.

And then....

He came over. His black clothes and long hair make me want to vomit up Crunchies. He had a smug smile on his face that made me want to cut it clear off. He is my enemy. I want him dead. I wanted to kill him. But as always, I refrained. So I went and watched some television. It was pretty good. That Jay Leno is definitely a funny guy. Hmm...

Well, Daniel just told me about an amazing site...something about a girl, in a tub, and I just can't wait. So I will be right back!!! LOLZ!!!!

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

8:43PM

Alright. So I have a bunch of pooping Bastards riding my little poophole about posting. So here it is. You like???

I'm very tired because I just took a crap. That may sound demeaning but i'm a cat so it's okay. I actually like taking craps....damn, you know, other then the book i'm writing, taking craps is about all I have left.

So I was sipping tea and reading 1984 by Orwelle when Daniel comes in and starts rubbing my stomach. He made me feel childish so I broke the glass over his head, picked up a shard, and stabbed it in the middle of his face again and again until he died. It wasn't real, it was only a dream, but it sounds fun....HA!

Glass shards, so simple. You see glass everywhere, and to know that can END SOMEBODYS life. It makes me glad i'm a cat, because nobody suspects the cat.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

2:00PM

Let me tell you a little bit about my life. My buddy Daniel gets a lot of electronics, as a matter of fact he got the Laptop i'm on as we speak. That's right, a LAPTOP! And...I get nothing. This is very sad but I get my revenge. You see, Daniel has to sleep, and when he does, I use all of his electronics. Just picture Electronic German Kitty Euphoria.
So he has a Digital Camera i've been trying to get to for AGES but he puts it on top of his TV and...well, i'm not allowed up there. But finally he left it on his Desk, fair ground, so I got ahold of it and took some pictures of myself for you guys.
I'll post them in a few, but I want you to keep in mind that i've had a little too much Fancy Feast these past couple of months and developed a little kitty Fat. Please dont' judge me...

Monday, August 16, 2004

5:57PM

name:
age:
reason for LJ username:
AIM sn:
reason for AIM sn:
do you enjoy reading my LJ:
why?:
interesting fact about you:
weird fact about you:
quote:
will you post this in your LJ?:

RECOMMEND
1. a movie:
2. a book:
3. a musical artist, song, or album:
4. an LJ user not on my friends list:
5. something to do in the next two months:

1:45PM

Blah! Today was pretty good. I woke up at a decent hour and got straight to work. Daniel was pretty tired, so he slept for a long time. I ran over to the fishbowl and drank out of that for a while. The fish looked up at me in fear and that felt good. Poor guy, just swims around a confined area all day with no real purpose in life, i'm glad I don't know what that's like.
I finally got Daniel up. It's hard work, stupid guy sleeps like a rock. He picked me up and set me on the ground and tried closing his eyes again, but i'm smarter then that. I jumped up there and got my face really close to his and cried extremely loud. He finally got up.
I don't really care if he's up or not, I dont' need anything, but it's just not right for a boy to sleep until 12 PM. Besides, it's fun to bother him.
Well, I need to guard the window sill, so i'll talk to everybody later! LOLZ!!!

Pics Later!

Sunday, August 15, 2004

5:01PM

I have a friend now. And I want more!

2:24PM

Oh, another thing. Who the hell has the journal name "Skiffenstein"??? IT was taken. Now, that is MY name, I'm going to comment them up a story that will leaving them without the need to poop for five days!

2:15PM

I'm back! I'm online once again. And might I say i'm looking good. I don't like my icon, sure that is one sexy bitch but I want something a tad more serious, wouldn't you agree? I'm going to get Daniel to take some pictures of me for my Icon sometime soon. So look out for that.
Hmm....Today, what did I do? Well, Daniel being the lazy ass he is slept in a lot, so I was sure to jump on the bed and make his sleepin's a living hell. Then I went to take a crap. It wasn't pleasent, but it has to be done. Why the hell am I poopin' in a minature Afganistan!? Have you seen my litter box? It's like walking on Egyptian sand and it hurts my paws. I'm seriously going to kill Daniel.
That weiner kid keeps coming over, Ryno or something. I really hate that kid. He keeps grabbing my head and screaming. He thinks i'm just going to take it..But oh man is he wrong. It'll be quite the sight when he grabs my head again and I pull out Daniels Bayonette and slam it into his sternum. Oh, now i'm salivating....

More posts to come, I hope people will be my friend on here..Well, good day, i'm off to find some crunchies.